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Mummy Blog. * For up to date and past mummy blogs covering a variety of topics, please go to www.busymama.com.au for an interesting read!
A Day in the life of Busymama- living with 3 childen under 3! Well..here I am, six months to the day since i gave birth to our beautiful twin daughters, xanthe(zanthy)and Oceane(o-c-ann) and i am proud to say that i have survived the transformation of becoming a busy mama of 3 ( under 3) and feel like i have come out the other end,relatively unscathed!!
My journey into motherhood began over two and a half years ago when our new year 2008 started with a bang and our firstborn child, a beautiful baby boy, bounced on the scene ( after many hours of labour and an emergency c section later!). I was admitted to hostpital on New years day, and induced twice, but our little man(or mini mac as he was then known to us) decided not to make an appearance until the very next day - at lunchtime, no less! Connor John Patrick McElhinney was welcomed to the world on January 2nd 2008, weighing a massive 9lbs, 10 ounces and measuring some 57.5 cms long.. We were, and still are such proud parents..and have tried to savour every moment of our son's first two and a half years-taking the good with the bad and always trying to keep our senses of humour intact! When we discovered that we were expecting twins in May 2009 ( hence,due in January 2010) we kept that very same sense of humour and honestly, my first reaction was to laugh..my husband stayed calm and collected and later admitted to having dreamt the night before that I was carrying more than one baby this time round. We seemed to take it all in our stride as the months progressed and I started turning into what felt like an inflated balloon! I must admit,looking back that we were incredibly relaxed about the iminint arrival of another two babies into our household- and i think we both feel just as blessed now as we did when we discovered the amazing news..Connor has grown into such a loving,caring older brother and is gentle and well behaved with the girls most of the time..BUT it would be unfair of me to say that every day passes magically without incident, or without me feeling tired or teary on occasion..and my husband has had to continue to work long days and commute from the coast to the city, as well as adapt, to become a father of three, adorable, yet active and very much dependent children! I have decided to start a busymama blog about my life with 3 children under 3 to help other parents out there who may be curious as to what lies ahead in their own lives as they make that transformation into parenthood. I make no claims on being an expert in parenthood, but I would like to share my experiences with those of you out there who may be interested! A day in the life of a 'busymama' of 3 children under 3 should make an interesting read and hopefully bring some laughter into your household along the way! Debie McElhinney ("busymama of 3)
A Day in the life of busymama- 'Introducing Solids" 14/7/2010 Well, of course actually finding the time to sit and type the first proper entry into my busymama diary is already proving a challenge!!
Where does the time go I ask myself (as am sure the millions of other busy mums and parents/child carers out there alike are all asking!) It has seemed virtually impossible to get a spare second to even go to the bathroom,let alone to eat a proper lunch today(and on many other days)..but, nevertheless, here i am...determined to type something, at least making some sense, to those of you out there who may be interested to gain insight into my day! Actually, now I'm thinking about it..perhaps i can use this journal to my advantage and get my hubby to read it when he walks through the door after his commute back from the city..that way, maybe we can catch up on each others day- in half the time it normally takes! Seriously though, at the very least, this diary can record some of the many special moments I am lucky enough to share with my three children, Connor(aged two and a half) and Xanthe and Oceane(our twin daughters who have turned 6 months today) oops-Xanthe has just woke up from what can only be described as a micro nap as she fell asleep after her last breasfeed some 20mins ago..must dash, but will be back as soon as i get chance x well..its 8.44pm now and I am finally finding that "spare moment" to type away.. The twins both went down to sleep at 7.15pm after they had their second feed of solids for the day at about 6pm..tonight's scrumptious menu consisted of stewed apple (done myself and not out of jar) mixed with rice cereal. At lunchtime (usually about 1pm) I gave them full cream vanilla yoghurt to try for the second time and they seem to like it as its easy for them to swallow and they are still in the early days of solid feeding. At 4 months of age, I started to introduce them both to rice cereal as they had started waking up every 2 hours at night and had seemed quite unsettled in the day, so I thought it could be due to being hungry (and I remember starting solids with Connor at age 4 months). However, when we spotted Xanthe had her first tooth a few days after turning 4 months, and oceane followed about 10 days later, I decided to hold off on the solids for another month. I think the period of being unsettled was largely due to the runny nose,red cheeks and other 'teething' symptoms..so i held off and re-introduced solids at 5 months. All 3 of my babies have pulled faces and spat more of the rice cereal out than what they have eaten in the early stages but its simple and easy to prepare (I add cooled boiled water to get the right consistency)and then after persisting with this for about 2 weeks, I have since introduced stewed apples,full fat yoghurt and mashed potato. Oceane seems to like her food more than Xanthe and although they are twins and one might expect they would both have similar tastes, they are very different in many aspects. They both love their breastfeeding and I am so pleased I have been able to feed them both for all this time as Connor did not feed well at first and had to use a shield which made it difficult for me when going out and about, to feed him. The girls have fed very well since they were newborn and I breastfeed them in the day about once every 3-4 hours each. They do not feed at the same time and i try to give them that special time bonding with mummy over their milk, individually. I did feed them together at the same time when they were newborn as they had a similar body clock back then and they were a lot less heavy to position at that time too. At night, unfortunately, since both twins have had their bottom 2 front teeth come through at age 4 months, they wake every few hours, settle after being given a 5-10 minute feed and both have their individual 2-3 hour pattern of waking at the moment. As with everything, although i joke to friends that i do feel a bit like a zombie at the moment, this is just a 'phase' my daughters are going through, and just like with their brother Connor, it will not last forever. I try really hard to structure our days so that we are out for the morning (usually from 9 or 9.30am till 12 or 1pm ) and I generally make sure that Connor has some 'quiet time' from 1.30pm till 3pm at home each day. He seems to have unfortunately dropped his afternoon sleep since the twins' arrival,( I think he simply doesn't want to miss out on anything) but, if i read him stories and he then plays happily in his room for a while, it gives me chance to rest for 30 mins on my bed with the twins as they are very happy to have an afternoon nap at around this time and I can put my feet up. Its the only chance i get to rest but i seem to be coping ok with the lack of sleep i am getting for the time being. There have been days however, that I have felt so so tired and its hard to summon the energy to go out on our activities BUT I am relieved I have pushed myself to do this. It works for me, to be out and about and have Connor run off his energy and mix with other children on most days of the week. It also means that I get the chance to meet other mums and I do feel better for it and don't think i would be so happy being housebound with the 3 children. Luckily the twins are both very content little things being driven around locally in the car ( I have a Land rover discovery that i use daily and my husband has a Mitsubishi Legnum that we have just imported and use as a family car at the weekends..both vehicles comfortably fit 3 child seats in the back and have plenty of boot space for our double stroller) The girls also seem content enough to have their morning sleep in the stroller if i am at Monday playgroup, alternate Tuesday/ weekly Friday mums group or go on pram walks by the lake with other mums on a Wednesday. I try to keep Thursday as a flexible day to do different things in our local area and the theres the weekend...every one of those is filled with different things to do as a family, but as long as Connor is mixing with other children in the week as I do not have him in daycare and he wont go to pre-school until he turns three, then he is a happy chappy. This morning we all visited a friends home for a typical "play date" as she has a daughter the same age as Connor and her second baby was also born just before the twins (a little uncanny i know!). This afternoon we stayed at home and Xanthe's godmother called round for cuddles which was lovely for all the children to see her-she has 2 children herself aged 4 and 6yrs and life is so busy that we do not spend half as much time together these days as we would like. That is life with 3 children under 3 though..some sacrifices have to be made and unfortunately catching up with friends is simply not as easy as it used to be. In between having a day of social visits today, I have had to work on my business: www.findanannyonline.com.a I do this daily as new child carers post their profiles and I need to check these before they are displayed to families. I also pride myself on the fact that we contact any carers registered in a particular postcode once a job advertisement has been placed in their area as a means of making sure that families have more chance of Nannies and Babysitters seeing and responding to ther ad as soon as possible. The business does take up a fair bit of time each day but i love the thought that i can help families find the help they need Australia wide (although the legislation in South Australia means that I am unable to match families to child carers in this area as candidates must be individually met and screened which is the work of an agency (whereby placement fees are charged ) rather than an advertising and a means of introduction which is what the website offers. I have also somehow managed to find some extra 'internet' time to check on the progress of my busymama profile on Facebook as I created this account yesterday. Then of course, I have had to make sure that come 5pm, the evening routine of preparing dinner for a family of 5 has begun. Connor had something simple tonight, just boiled eggs on toast followed by a healthy fruit salad for afters, whilst the girls has their stewed apple and rice cereal and i made a curry for my husband and I.. We did sit down and eat our evening meal together at about 8pm- which is something i try to do always with my partner, so we can still have some adult conversation- oh, and yes, i did shown him my earlier extract from today and a draft of this diary entry, so "a day in the life of busymama' has already helped him catch up on my day!! Time for me to get some much needed sleep now though as i have just looked at the clock and no doubt the twins will be crying out for mummy"s milk soon enough..oh well, even if i am up several times throughout the night, I always have to think to myself that tomorrow is a new day
A Day in the life of busymama - "Toilet Training" 15/7/2010 mmmm..am feeling a little bit like i was up and down like a yoyo throughout the night last night so thank goodness i went to bed when i did.
Both girls were up every few hrs so by 3am i had already got in and out of bed 6 times, then (luckily) Xanthe had a longer sleep for about 4 hrs but Oceane on the other hand, kept getting up and was quite unsettled in general- am sure another tooth is to blame and will appear soon as her cry is a bit different and she keeps pushing her fist into her mouth more than usual. I am relieved that the twins are having their usual afternoon nap now and i did lie down for half and hour myself as Connor is happily playing with his cars and singing twinkle twinkle little star in his room.. This morning was great though as i managed to find the energy from somewhere and did my usual routine of getting up, giving the babies a breastfeed, putting them back to sleep in their cots(they share the same room but sleep in different cots) and then I fed the dogs and rabbits ( we have a menagerie of pets with 2 border collies called Rafferty and Dougal aged 5 and 4yrs and 2 rabbits called Muffin and Paddy Jo) and then Connor woke up and I gave him his corn flakes and vegemite on toast for breakfast, made his packed lunch ( peanut butter sandwiches, box of sultanas, an apple and an apricot bar- along with a few treats hidden in my bag) This is to reward him for telling me he needs to go to the toilet and doing a big boy wee!-the joys of toilet training a 2yr old when you have just had twins!!.. I always like a challenge i suppose but I must admit, although he is doing really really well with the toilet training, the whole thing can be hard work at times. When i am out and about I have to make an effort to keep checking constantly if he needs 'to go' so that we can try to avoid any accidents and especially I find when i am feeding the twins he will start saying 'wee wee' and seems to need to go at the exact moment i sit down with the girls. I am proud he is being such a good boy though about all the changes happening in his little world and am happy to say that he is being very gentle around the babies, other peoples children and he plays nicely when we go to see other friends with children. I have been asked to babysit for a friend this afternoon and look after her little boy so Connor will have a playmate here whilst i make sure everyone has fun and is safe and happy..it takes me back to my days an au pair when i looked after 4 children and my previous life as a Nanny (much like those displaying their profiles on www.findanannyonline.com.a Fingers crossed all will go well and the children play nicely! I am writing this quickly now before i start to prepare tonight's dinner early- tuna pasta bake for myself and Connor and spaghetti bolognese for my husband..and mashed potato and carrots for the girls! Am unsure if i will have time to write anything more later today..and it sounds like Oceane has just woken up now and wants her yoghurt as she fell asleep before i could feed it to her earlier..its been a nice but busy day so far as we went down to the entrance and the enclosed playground there- its such a small world on the central coast and i ran into a nanny who used to come to our Monday playgroup six months ago and i saw another 3 friends with their children at the park too!
A Day in the life of Busymama - "Multi tasking " - 16/7/2010 Its Friday night, my husband and I have just eaten Thai take away and watched a movie together and all 3 children are in bed, sleeping peacefully (well at least until the next feed in the twins case and Connor has recently been waking up a bit in the night too, after seemingly having a bad dream) so i will make the most of it. - and blog away.
Yesterday afternoon and the babysitting went really well.The boys played nicely and the twins were back to being their contented selves so i managed to multi task and keep the boys and girls happy, keeping 4 under 3 entertained without too much problem.
My friends little boy seemed to enjoy himself and even got teary when it was time to leave, so i will take that as a compliment - and i would be more than happy to help out again as it reminded me of my former days as a nanny.
I have always enjoyed looking after children from a young age when I used to help out at the local playscheme (in the UK) during the school holidays and i opted to complete my high school work experience placement at a nearby Pre-School.
After finishing college at 18, i went overseas to France to Au Pair for a family with 4 children and after this i became a Nanny in Milan, Italy.
I also worked in Child Care in Australia before i put my management qualifications to use and then spent almost a decade placing Nannies and Baysitters with families in Sydney as Business Manager and Head of Recruitment at Mum's Best Friend Agency.
Now I am experiencing the highs (and sometimes lows) of raising my own three children each and every day.
I feel very blessed with my lot and if i am feeling tired or a bit overwhelmed (when all 3 might chose to cry in unison for example at around 12 o'clock lunchtime... and i wonder what my neighbours must think is going on next door!) I try to remind myself of how lucky we are as a family.
I think that parents with more than one child have so much juggling to do to make sure that their offspring are well cared for, safe and happy human beings, but i do think having twins , at least at this stage,might be easier than having two children close together in age, mainly because they are at a similar stage of development and it only takes a bit more time to change two nappies rather than one or prepare 2 bowls of solid food for example or change two lots of clothes.
For anyone out there expecting more children (or multiples) I can honestly say that I have found that as long as I am organized and make sure i re-pack my bag after each time i go out to stock up on nappies,wipes,at least 2 extra spare outfits per child (in Connor's case this is due to toilet training, and with the girls,in case they bring up milk or leak through their nappy) the I am ok and can actually go anywhere i want or need.
I am now at the stage of packing teethers and soft toys for the girls and a blanket or portable play mat to take along with us wherever we go.
For the first 6 months they have been very happy to sit in their double stroller and have a look round or take a nap without any bother.
Now though, they want to be cuddled more and more and if one is having a feed then the other can tend to get a little jealous!
In a few weeks I will probably start taking their 'bumbo' (a moulded rubber seat that can assist babies in learning to sit once they have good head and neck control) as this is light and cannot really be damaged.
I know it must sound like i need a huge bag and appear to take everything but the kitchen sink on outings but i simply leave my double stroller in the boot of my car and i have extra sets of clothes in there too, along with spare nappies for each child,spare wipes,nappy bags and Connors monkey backpack which a friend gifted for his 2nd birthday- and I thank her dearly as its been my saviour since the twins came along.
Connor thinks he has the freedom to walk independently (or run!) rather than always being coaxed into holding my hand - but he is safe and is never more than a few feet away from his mum, whilst i am pushing the twins in their stroller.
We sometimes carry the girls in the baby bjorn carriers if both parents are around, but i do love the stroller i have-its a bugatti model and so light and easy to manouvre and fold up into the back of my Landrover.
I have been taking all 3 children grocery shopping with me and make it a fun activity for Connor as he thinks he is being mummy's little helper,carrying my shopping list and a few soft items..and my stroller stores the heavy groceries in the bottom tray and i balance loaves of bread and nappies on the hood.
It takes a while to get everything ( and i must admit, other shoppers look on with curiosity and many come up to me to take a peek at the twins and comment on what a good little boy Connor is being) but i load up the stroller and a few baskets and then once i have paid at the checkout, the store have been kind enough to offer a staff member to load up a trolley for me and bring it out to my car whilst i hold the 3 kids.
My husband and i did say when i was pregnant that i would start to do the shopping on-line but to be honest, so far i have found it less time consuming to take the children and use it to my advantage as a means of distraction as trying to sit on a computer at home with all 3 demanding my attention at the same time proved in itself to be more stressful!
In the same way, I have been able to meet friends at local shopping centres ( and i am delighted to have already done most of my x-mas shopping by putting things on lay by even with all 3 children in tow.
This is again due to the fact that my friends and I try to make it a fun experience for the little ones, we take a picnic lunch and put the toddlers in a trolley together with a few select toys, which they think is fab, and i have the twins in the stroller and if my friends have a baby then they tend to have them in the baby bjorn so they can push the trolley with the older children.
Luckily for me, i did my shopping at the beginning of the week so today has been pretty relaxing as we went to a friends home for my Friday mums group and again i invited one of my little boys best friends over in the afternoon for a play date.
The twins happily played in the jolly jumper and I even managed to video a little recording of Xanthe having a bounce and post it on my 'busymama" facebook wall.
Then when it was dinnertime for the children, Connor had fish and mashed potato followed by fruit and i videoed the girls eating their mash too. They had stewed apple mixed with yoghurt for lunch so we are gradually giving them a little variety.
Next week I hope to introduce them to banana which i hope they will love as its so easy to take out and about.
I do recall Connor hated it at first though and it took a while before he would eat it.
The "magic fairy" - the person i often joke about having visited to do all the household chores that need doing like sweeping,mopping,hoovering,laundry,cooking and the like..( i.e, "myself") did a few bits around the house in the morning.
I will have to do a bit more at the weekend though along with devoting more time to findanannyonline.com.au as we are working on trying to reach a wider audience with the website and assist more parents in need of help.
For now though, its finally time for me to have a little rest of my own and end my day by putting my feet up...
A Day in the life of Busymama- "Aah, the smell of Dirty Nappies!" -19/7/2010
Before I can blink, Its Monday again and the weekend has been and gone..
My 2 year old is resting in his room and I am delighted to say that he seems to have slipped back into a regular routine of afternoon naps- he unfortunately dropped this in January from his daily routine ( I think with the twins arrival and nanny and grandad visiting from the UK he just didn't want to miss out on anything and refused to sleep..) We have been to Monday Playgroup this morning and my little man spent most of his time in the sandpit which he loves, whilst i got to catch up with the other mums. We often exchange our funny ' children related' stories and refer ideas to each other of things to do and places to go, along with mulling over future educational issues that some mothers have had a little experience of with their older offspring. I am sending my son to Pre School next year, which will be here before we know it, and i make a mental note that i really must lock a date in the diary with my husband to go pay a visit as they have said i can pop along any morning i wish to take a peek at what goes on behind closed doors. The twins have had their fruit for lunch, followed by a little sleep and they are now playing in the walker and playpen. Whilst i have a moment to type, I am wondering why my house always seems to smell of dirty nappies in the afternoons and realise its because that gorgeous,sweet aroma(not!)seeps through the house from Connors bedroom and it is sooo strong because he is saving all his number two's for his nappy each day. He will only relax those muscles and "go" in his nappy either overnight from bedtime or after i have read him stories in his room and i leave him to rest. It may have the advantages of helping avoid major toilet training "accidents" whilst out and about, apart from the odd wee wee that has escaped his bladder before he utters those words and tells me he need to go to the bathroom..but it is starting to worry me nevertheless as its making the whole 'doing a number two' a bigger deal than it really needs to be. Over the years i have heard many stories about children being frightened to let their bowels do the magic, and tales of kiddies hiding to do their poos and flat out denying that they need to 'go' but my little Con Con appears to be making it worse for himself by storing them up for the day and he has tantrums when i try to take that full nappy off and seems quite scared of the whole process. He is good at going to the toilet in general and did his first number two on the toilet quite a while ago, but since then, perhaps due to the fact that maybe i appear to be in a rush to get us in and out of the bathroom (i am keen to get back to the twins pronto for safety reasons ofcourse) that he has decided to save that special delivery for his nappy alone. I am trying to be patient, but as my namesake suggests(i thought of the Busymama name due to the fact that i must hear myself say a thousand times a day "come on darling..mamas busy"- and also, it is a shortened version of 'Business mama" which i also make claim to being due to constantly working on, although not drawing an income from www.findanannyonline.com.a In a nutshell, due to the whole toilet training going on- or not - in our home at the moment, i always get a familiar whiff in the afternoons seeping through the walls- and i need to do something about it! I can chose to either get a stronger air freshening system happening or tackle the deeper issue - watch this space to find out if i am brave enough to go there! Talking of that, my little man is calling out to me now as he has just woken up from that afternoon nap i mentioned earlier. Surprise surprise he is shouting 'poo mama,poo mama ' to let me know what lies ahead, but of course the smell as already given that away! He sounds cranky so i will end this extract now and get us to say 'bye bye' to his nappy asap- i am trying to prepare myself for the tantrum that will follow but have some play dough at the ready to use as a distraction- and i am thinking of baking us some chocolate brownies together as something to do to wind the day to a close as it is late afternoon- how apt!
A Day in the life of Busymama - "sleepless Nights" - 20/7/2010 Why oh why can you never sleep when you really need to?!
I am tired after another busy day in the McElhinney household, yet its gone 4am and I am blogging away instead of catching up on much needed rest! The way it seems to be for myself(and probably hundreds of other parents out there) is that if the children aren't keeping me up at nights then my body (more to the point, my mind,busy racing away in all directions,about nothing in particular) does! I took all 3 children to the shopping centre this morning to get a few birthday pressies for parties coming up, came back for lunch (mushed banana for the twins and cheesy salmon pasta for my toddler) then had a business conference call from 2-3pm for the updating of the findanannyonline.com.au website and after everyone's nap time,we all paid a visit to a lady i know from mums group, who is expecting her third child. It was dinnertime at the zoo before i knew it and i don't seem to have stopped since putting the children to bed and catching up with my hubby as i have been working on-line... I was sensible and tried to get an earlyish night by retiring to bed at around 9.30pm BUT am still awake now as have given in and rather than tossing and turning have added another entry to my daily weblog! Maybe i am feeling uneasy and cant "switch off" as i almost had an accident this morning whilst out and tripped up over Connor. He had been such a good boy whilst helping me run my errands for the day but as we headed home at around lunchtime, the little monkey decided to drag his feet and make mummy's life very difficult in trying to get him to the car! I do pride myself on being patient, but, after a while even this was wearing thin (as i am quite strict when it comes to trying to get all 3 to the car safe and sound) and a little persuasive power was needed whilst holding Connors hand and as i tried to navigate my unwilling toddler forward, he tripped and i almost fell on top of him! It probably made some light entertainment for nearby shoppers, but, for me, it made my heart skip a beat as its the first little (almost) fall i have had with children in tow. We both dusted ourselves off, jumped up and were absolutely fine..and i still had my hand firmly gripped onto the safety strap of the stroller,so no issues there,but it must be playing on my mind as am now sleepless. A liitle time has now passed since i got out of bed and now i have typed away and got a few things out of my system, perhaps that much needed rest awaits me..fingers crossed!
A Day in the life of Busymama - "Working from Home " - 22/7/2010 Working from home sounds like a good plan when you have a young family..but, as many of us out there know, its definitely NOT as easy as it may sound!
Any past images of sitting in front of the computer, cup of tea in hand, with the kiddies happily playing in the background have since been erased. Its more a case of feeling frustrated every day as the children tend to demand more and more attention- they don't understand the concept of mummy having to "work" yet of course, and one tends to feel torn in all directions! Any chance of a cuppa is totally out of the question! I am finding that when you actually get the chance to plough on with the days tasks in hand, you have to seize the moment and do just that- before the all to familiar sound of a child crying starts to ring in your ears! Don't get me wrong,I do agree that the whole working from home theory is a great concept, but i think it might just require even more of an investment in time (that parents clearly don't have!) and could end up actually being harder work in general! I am tapping away at the keyboard now for example but i can hear Connor is starting to get frustrated with playing with his cars for the zillionth time- and the twins are disgruntled playing with their soft toys in their play station and walker..they want mummy to take them out for a walk, and no doubt my toddler would love a banana milkshake from the cafe up the road (his treat for letting mummy concentrate on her childcare internet business : www.findanannyonline.com.a
A Day in the Life of Busymama - "Single Parents" - 26/7/2010:
Well, another weekend has flown-and last week whizzed by so quicky that i didn't even get a chance to add anything to my blog on Friday..even with the best of intentions.
My husband was actually away all weekend and although i am quite used to the whole concept of being what is known on the coast as a "commuter widow" (ie-hubby commutes daily to the city, so the wives only get to see their other halves late at nights and at weekends) I must admit that spending more time alone made me really appreciate what single parents out there must do on a daily basis. It must be very tough going when you don't have anyone to share all the trials and tribulations that a typical day looking after ones children might involve. I had to abandon trying to do a grocery shop on Friday for example, as Connor decided to drag his feet and was proving a nightmare at the local shops- for the very first time since having the twins, i decided it just wasn't worth the battle of wills and i came home much earlier than anticipated. Normally I would share this info with my hubby over a glass of wine at dinner and even with the simple fact that he was there to listen, well, i would feel so much better and a problem shared is a problem halved as the saying goes! I couldn't do this on Friday night as i normally would- and i really missed it. On Saturday our toddler also decided to have a temper tantrum over something simple and again, there was nobody there to offer a sympathetic hand - ofcourse i have lots of friends i could call if i really needed to "offload" and let off a bit of steam so to speak, but the weekend just feels different and its not the same as the weekday routine..everyone is with their partners and family and i suspect this could be a dilemma that a recently seperated friend of mine faces on a regular basis. Being a single parent herself, she has had to juggle the joys of parenthood a whole lot more than when she was a married mother of two. Her former partner has been wonderful with their daughters but she is still living alone, raising them as a sole parent nevertheless,on a daily basis. The time spent alone this weekend also gave me chance to ponderthe whole 'Terrible Twos". I have been asking myself why our son has just decided he will now enter into this phase at the most inopportune time! The twins are getting much more active and demanding more and more of my attention with lots of cuddles required, breast and solid feeding as well as wanting to ofcourse be constantly entertained. My toddler must sense that i am needing to stretch my "mummys arms" even further than before and he is starting to have a lot of fun in using the word 'no' to whatever i say or ask. Physically too, it is becoming a bit more of a struggle the past few days, to do what we normally do - after storytime for example, he will drag his feet up those stairs to his bedroom, rather than happily skip up there for his rest and nap time. When it is time to get in and out of the car, he is starting to take delight in saying 'no mama car' much to my exasperation..he has started to point blank refuse to get out of the vehicle when we reach playgroup,mums group,friends houses and the like too..and i am embarassed to say that i have had to resort to that old trick of using a little bit of bribery...aargh..and this is something i have seen many around me do but have tried to avoid as much as i could. you have to chose your battles though, and if a lollipop helps encourage my stubborn 2 year old to hold my hand safely whilst crossing the road - then for the time being i can live with that! I take my hat off to all the single parents out there who face these types of battles alone on a daily basis- and I would like to say a huge thank you to the good samaritan who kindly offered to help me back to my car the other day with the 3 children (all crying!)in tow..without people like this, where we would be i honestly don't know..and i thank my lucky stars that i am not on this journey alone.
A Day in the lIfe of Busymama "Budgeting with Babies" - 1/8/2010 I cannot believe its August already and we are more than halfway though one of the most special years for our family so far.
The twins have had another three top teeth come through since my last blog(almost a week ago). They also went for their 6 month injections on Wednesday, so, all in all a pretty "unsettled" week in our household unfortunately sleepwise, with runny noses after the teeth started to make an appearance and a bit of a temperature for both babies in the 24 hrs after their injections,poor things. We also decided this year to host a"Christmas in July' party in our home (so it was a full house with 10 adults and 8 children yesterday afternoon!) For each of the 13 years i have been here( I arrived from The UK in the June of1997 ) i have said i will do this, but have never managed it thus far so I am proud that even with the 'mummy of 3 " tag, i have FINALLY achieved it! We plan to be overseas this Christmas - and when i say "plan" , i mean the flights are booked with deposits paid and my hubby has approved time off from work BUT with the remainder of the flight money due in a few weeks, this "busymama" has started to panick and realise that I really need to put a better plan in action of "Budgeting with Babies" if we are to be able to do the things we would like to and visit the people we want to once we are over there! Like many parents of babies out there, we seem to have become quite financially dependent on the fortnightly Babys Bonus, which is alas, now coming to an end.. I honestly dont know where it has gone but, just like my husbands salary, it was in and out of our bank account before we knew what was happening! I am not quite sure how we survived on the one wage beforehand..and i am feeling uneasy at the prospect of how we are going to cope with doing that again- let alone trying to fund a huge trip for a family of five at Christmas! We will manage somehow ( as you always do) but its going to be a bit of a struggle and there are a few tips i have picked up from friends with children that i will have to put into place pronto: Firstly NEVER buy anything you feel you need UNTIL you have first checked with other mums in your mums groups, local playgroup or groups of friends with children because I have been amazed at how many generous people have offered to loan or have actually given me playmats, activity centres, walkers, jolly jumpers and high chairs. Its also a great money saver if you email people you know before buying swing sets,slides and climbing frames, trampolines or sandpits for outside as many people have sold these items to our family second hand as they are things children do tend to outgrow. The Kmart,Target and Big W toy and clothes sales are definitely huge savers when it comes to xmas and birthday present shopping- try to put things on lay by for 8 weeks if possible as this means you will still be purchasing items at the sale price even if you don't have the ready cash up front to pay for them all straight away. TRY, whenever possible to use your grocery shopping docket discount vouchers for petrol and be sure to fill your vehicle to get the most out of the discount. Always ask if play centres will offer a group discount if there are more than 5 parents meeting with children at one of these outlets- they are often more than happy to oblige and many offer loyalty cards whereupon free admission may be given after the 10th or so visit. On rainy days, when possible, set up a roster of local parent houses to meet up for playdates rather than always having to take the children to paid activities as this can become costly, especially during weeks on end of rain- it's essential to take the children out to save ones sanity i know, but it shouldn't have to cost the earth to do so! Take a packed lunch for the children and a picnic for mum, along with a plentiful supply of drinks for each day that you leave the house with your family as those odd cups of coffee and cake dont seem like much of a spend at the time but its amazing how much you can save over a period of time. Set up a group clothing exchange with other parents you know so that you are able to pass around clothes, many of very good quality or even btrand new as I have noticed over the past 3 years that many of my childrens clothing has never even been worn or used on just one occassion and it seems such a waste. A pregnancy clothing exchange may also help the family budget as it is often the case that mums from groups you have become involved with, may go on to have more children - maternity clothes can be very expensive and it could help a family hugely to share in the joy of passing larger sized clothes on to an expectant mother! Grocery shopping dips into the family budget on a regular basis so make a list, avoid temptation to buy too much in bulk,as often this means buying more of what you may not really need! Do try to buy nappies when they are on sale though - as long as they are the right size, this can save lots of dollars for your household. Shop around on-line if possible for insurance for your house,cars and personal health as this is usually the cheaper way. Some extra tips for rising electricity costs I hope may help you are:(I recently had a helpful lady visit my home to give me energy saving tips after we had begun to experience huge energy bills much higher than anticipated even when we had factored in the rise in prices predicted accross the board) Use lamps whenever possible rather than downlights (especially when a night light may be needed in the hallway throughout the evening for example) and avoid using heavy airconditioners for hours on end in rooms that are not neccessarily being occupied- this may sound like general common sense, but in our case, we had a huge air conditioner turned on for many hours to try to cool the upper level of our home, even if the children werent up there at the time- i soon learned that at over $1.00 per hr, we only needed to turn on the unit just before Connors rest time and whilst he was actually up there having a sleep! Finally, try to avoid throwing food away as this is a huge waste of your weekly budget literally being thrown down the drain! If you have overestimated your portions cooked then store them in a tub for re heating and in my case, we feed our menagerie of pets with much of the food we may not eat each week..luckily the dogs and rabbits love this- and we feel much better knowing that i am at least getting the most out of my weekly shop! I know that much of what i have written is common practice in many parents homes anyway, but until recently i had no knowledge of the best way to cut our electricity bills and I will certainly be using more of the fuel vouchers from now on to help save our spending money for our overseas trip at the end of the year. I have to start learning to budget far better- so watch this space for more useful tips i may pick up along the way...
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